Justine Lamont co hosted the Calm, Connected Tweens and Teens summit with Jenny Atkinson. I got so much out of every session and here is my summary of Justine's session about accountability and responsibly for our teens.
Kids don’t look at jobs & chores the way we do. Their ‘job description’ is to be a tween or teen. It’s to hang out with mates, play with pets, listen to music, play sport – be a kid! Putting away laundry doesn’t make the list. Parents need to communicate the skills they are going to learn… how to be accountable and resourceful, how to be part of a team – all developing skills for life. It's not just about putting away the washing.
Accountability is all about building habits - to make these habits stick, be aware of our communication – specifically tone, tempo and timing- and too many words! Too many words don't get heard.
Parents need to be conscious as a parent. Create the culture at home like you would in a workplace. Invest in relationships with your child/ren (and their friends). Children are all individuals with different strengths and weaknesses – like adults. Model our differences rather than trying to mould them into being the same.
It's important to try to consider a teen’s perspective – this sets you up for successful communication. Give them a heads up… work together with them to help them develop skills.
It also helps to manage (reduce!) your own expectations so it sets them up for success. Being consistent in emotion and communication is key also.
Celebrate the wins along the way – no matter how small. [Although I know my kids don't like it when it's 'over the top'!]
The word ‘yet’ is very powerful when parenting and guiding tweens and teens… you haven’t mastered cleaning your bedroom ‘yet!’
